By Richard Peterson
This came to me in an e-mail:
"Face it. April was a rough month for big business. First there was the Virginia coal mine disaster that claimed 29 lives, the announcement that Goldman Sachs made billions by betting that the economy would melt in 2008, an oil refinery explosion in Washington that killed seven, an 18,000-gallon Chevron oil spill into the Louisiana Delta, the death of two Kentucky coal miners while working for a company with a long history of violations, a coal freighter that crashed into the Great Barrier Reef that still sits there bleeding filth and now, America’s southeast coast will be acquiring a new shade of brown, courtesy of the world’s third largest oil company.
". . . But in the midst of this bad news came a bright spot that warmed the heart of even the most pessimistic fan of Corporate America: A recent poll announced that four out of five Americans don’t trust government.
"That’s, right. Government, the only entity that limits how much big business is allowed to lie, pollute, kill and steal from us, the only entity that can prosecute BP for looking the Obama Administration straight in the eye and saying there is no way this Gulf thing is going to turn into a big spill.
"Still, for fans of unfettered corporate power, April was a bit rough all around, and the anti-regulatory crowd might even give it a rest for a few weeks, allow us time to mourn our dead oil workers and miners, give us time for forget Goldman Sach’s treachery, and get used to that awful smell coming off the Gulf.
"But the propagandists will be back soon enough, preaching that government regulations only prevent a honest man from earning an honest buck, and have no place in a free society.
"Are Americans still stupid enough to believe that? We’ll find out."
Even the anti-government crowd in this area is begging the federal government to build an outlet on the east end of Devils Lake. They want government to butt out of their lives, but welcome any help government can give us.
When there’s a disaster, FEMA comes to the rescue.
When a highway goes under, we call on the Federal Highway Administration or the ND Department of Transportation to help.
When it came time to inoculate people for flu, a federal agency provided the vaccine.
The Food and Drug Administration tries to keep unsafe food and medicine out of the marketplace.
Social Security provides help to retired people so they don’t have to live in total poverty.
Medicare helps with medical expenses for those over 65.
I could go on and on, listing good things the government does. But to the anti-government crowd, government is BAD, BAD, BAD!
Until they need help.
Here’s an item concerning how to decide who to marry (written by kids).
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
— Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry.
God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
— Kristen, age 10
And children have a ready answer to what is the right age to get married.
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
–Camille, age 10
How can a stranger tell if two people are married?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
— Derrick, age 8
What do you think your mom and dad have in common?
Both don’t want any more kids.
— Lori, age 8
What do most people do on a date?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
— Lynnette, age 8
(isn’t she a treasure)
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
— Martin age 10
What would you do on a first date that was turning sour?
I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
— Craig, age 9
When is it OK to kiss someone?
When they’re rich.
— Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.
— Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.
— Howard, age 8
Is it better to be single or married?
It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
— Anita, age 9
How would the world be different if people didn’t get married?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?
— Kelvin, age 8
How would you make a marriage work?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.
— Ricky, age 10