3/26/2008 – Editorials


By Richard Peterson

 

 

I don’t know what we’re going to do. We can’t seem to find anyone to write the news of the Leeds area. I sure wish someone would consider doing this. There is some pay, but it isn’t a great amount. The job is more a labor of love and a service to the community than anything.

We’re having the same problem at Minnewaukan. And yes, we were never able to find a correspondent at Warwick, either. The same holds true for York and Brinsmade. Anyone interested in doing these jobs is encouraged to call the Farmers Press at 473-5436.

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From the e-mails:

Do you realize how early Easter was this year and why? It was on March 23. As you may or may not know, Easter is always the first Sunday after the first full moon after the Spring Equinox (first day of spring), which is on March 20.

This dating of Easter is based on the lunar calendar that Hebrew people used to identify Passover, which is why it moves around in date on our Roman-based calendar.

Based on the above, Easter can actually be one day earlier (March 22) but that is extremely rare. Here’s the interesting info. This year

(2008) is the earliest Easter any of us will ever see for the rest of our lives! And only the most elderly of our population have ever seen it this early (95 years old or above!). And none of us have ever, or will ever, see it a day earlier!

Here are the facts:

1) The next time Easter will be this early (March 23) will be the year 2160 (152 years from now).

2) The last time it was this early was 1913 (so if you’re 95 or older, you are the only ones that were around for that!).

3) The next time it will be a day earlier, March 22, will be in the year 2285 (277 years from now).

4) The last time it was on March 22 was 1818.

So, no one alive today has, or will ever see it any earlier than this year! And, by the way, the latest date that Easter can fall is April 25. The last time that occurred was 1943 and it will happen again in 2038, so it is more common for a late rather than an early Easter date.

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A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years before.

Because of their hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minneapolis and flew to Florida on Friday and his wife was flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel, and unlike years ago, there was a computer in his room, and he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.

However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address, and without noticing his error, sent the e-mail to the wrong address.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband’s funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory after suffering a heart attack.

The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and then fainted. The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and then glanced up and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife

Date: October 13, 2007

Subject: I have arrived!

Dearest Love:

I know you are surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and you are allowed to send e-mail to your loved ones. I have just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow, and look forward to seeing you then.

I hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

PS: It sure is hot down here!

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These 15 comments by policemen were supposedly taken from police car videos around the country:

15. You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.

14. Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.

13. If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.

12. If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.

11. Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.

10. You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?

9. Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift supervisor?

8. Warning! You want a warning? OK, I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.

7. The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?

6. Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.

5. Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.

4. How big were those ‘two beers’ you say you had?

3. No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.

2. I’m glad to hear that the chief (of police) is a personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail.

And the winner is . . .

1. You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here.


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