8/9/2006 – Editorials

Mel Gibson has been in the news recently because he was picked up for drunken driving and went into an anti-Jewish tirade, blaming Jews for most of the world’s woes. Gibson apologized profusely after he sobered up and asked what he could do to get back into the good graces of the Jewish community.

It was suggested that he show deference to the Jewish community with a public circumcision.

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Elvis Presley’s treasured Teddy Bear was torn to bits by a guard dog which was supposed to protect the doll rather than attack it.

Isn’t it ironic that Elvis’s Teddy Bear fell victim to Nothin’ But A Hound Dog?

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From the e-mails:

The new supermarket near our house has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and witness the scent of fresh hay.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The veggie department features the sound of a gentle breeze and the smell of freshly buttered corn.

I don’t buy toilet paper there any more.

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Another e-mail joke:

As a young minister, I was asked by a funeral director to hold a grave side service for a homeless man, with no family or friends, who had died while traveling through the area. The funeral was to be held at a new cemetery way back in the country, and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost; and being a typical man I did not stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late.

I saw the crew eating lunch, but the hearse was nowhere in sight. I apologized to the workers for my tardiness and stepped to the side of the open grave, where I saw the vault lid already in place. I assured the workers I would not hold them long but this was the proper thing to do. The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I poured out my heart and soul. As I preached, the workers began to say "Amen," "Praise the Lord" and "Glory." I preached and I preached, like I’d never preached before: from Genesis all the way to Revelations.

I closed the lengthy service with a prayer and walked to my car. I felt I had done my duty for the homeless man and that the crew would leave with a renewed sense of purpose and dedication, in spite of my tardiness.

As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another, "I ain’t never seen anything like this before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for 20 years."

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I went to Bismarck a couple weeks ago to take in a two-day class on some of the Adobe software we use. I learned a lot, but unfortunately by the time I managed to carve out a couple hours to practice some of the tricks, I forgot how to do them.

While driving to Bismarck I was surprised to see a wind farm piercing the sky southwest of Regan along ND 36. I counted 30 of the tall generating towers while still keeping an eye on the road.

I found out later by reading the Basin Electric magazine that there are 33 of them and they’re owned by FPL Energy, which sells the power to Basin Electric. The wind farm is capable of generating enough electricity to power 15,000 homes.

Construction of the General Electric wind turbines began in August of

2005 and was completed in January of 2006. The dedication of the wind farm was held June 2, 2006.

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I hadn’t been to Bismarck for three or four years and was surprised to see how much it’s grown in that short time. Bismarck now boasts two Super Wal-Marts, one on Bismarck Expressway east and one on US 83 north.

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Writing in The Journal at Crosby, John Andrist told of a trip to Winnipeg. He said parking in Winnipeg required the use of parking meters, "which annoyingly requires you to keep an eye on your watch."

Andrist went on to say the experience reminded him of Howard Henry who saved us from the parking meter bandits.

Henry, a farmer from Westhope, got a ticket for running over his time on a parking meter in Minot while he was getting parts or something for his farming operation.

Henry was enraged that someone should be fined for doing business in a town.

So he organized an initiated measure campaign that called for elimination of parking meters on public streets. Cities cursed him for interfering in their business, but he wasn’t the kind of guy to back down. He got the signatures and the measure went on the ballot, where it passed overwhelmingly.

Fifty years later North Dakota is still the only state with no parking meters. That’s something to be proud of!