12/23/2009 – Editorials

This item was written some time ago by 90-year-old Regina Brett of The Plain Dealer, in Cleveland, Ohio.

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch..

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets and wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, and then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone for everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

—000—

The teacher noticed that eighth grader Joe had been daydreaming for a long time. She decided to get his attention.

"Joe," she said, "if the world is 25,000 miles around and eggs are 60c a dozen, how old am I?"

"Thirty-four," Joe answered.

The teacher replied, "Well, that’s not far from my actual age. Tell me . . . how did you guess?"

"Oh, there’s nothing to it," Joe said. "My big sister is 17 and she’s only half crazy."

—000—

The preacher says, "Anyone with needs to be prayed over, come forward, to the front at the altar."

Leroy gets in line and when it’s his turn, the preacher asks:

"Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you."

Leroy replies: "Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing." The preacher puts one finger in Leroy’s ear and he places the other hand on top of Leroy’s head and prays and prays and prays. He prays a blue streak for Leroy.

After a few minutes, the preacher removes his hands, stands back and asks,"Leroy, how is your hearing now?"

Leroy says, "I don’t know, Reverend, it ain’t ’til next Wednesday."

—000—

One night a wife saw her husband standing over their baby’s crib.

Silently, she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, skepticism.

Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening, she slipped her arm around her husband. "A penny for your thoughts," she said.

"It’s amazing!" he replied. "I just can’t see how anybody can make a crib like that for only $46.50."