10/28/2009 – Editorials
By Richard Peterson
Dean Sorlie of Maddock found an interesting postcard that was sent in
1928 to a man who had bought a Ford Model T from the C.R. Gleason Co.
at Bottineau. It was obviously sent to everyone who purchased a Model T from Gleason. Here’s what it says:
We’re writing this letter to you today because we want to help you get your money out of your Model T.
It’s still as good a car as it was the day the new Model A Ford was announced and there’s no need to sacrifice it.
The Model T Ford is still used by more people than any other automobile. Eight million are in active service right now and many of them can be driven one, two, three and five years and even longer.
Bring your car to us and let us look it over. You’ll be surprised to see how little it costs to put it in tip-top shape.
New fenders, for instance, cost from $3.50 to $5.00 each, with a labor charge of $1.00 to $2.50. Tuning up the motor and replacing commutator case, brush and vibrator points costs only $1.00, with a small charge for material. Brake shoes can be installed and emergency brakes equalized for a labor charge of only $1.25. A labor charge of $4.00 to $5.00 will cover the overhauling of the front axle, rebushing springs and spring perches and straightening, aligning and adjusting the wheels.
The labor charge for overhauling the average rear axle runs from
$5.75 to $7.00. Grinding valves and cleaning carbon can be done for $3.00 to $4.00.
A set of four new pistons and rings cost only $7.00. For a labor charge of $20.00 to $25.00 you can have your motor and transmission completely overhauled. Parts are extra.
The Gleason Co. advertisement came on a penny postcard.
This came in an e-mail:
How do these people survive?
ONE: Recently, when I went to McDonald’s I saw on the menu that you could have order 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
"We don’t have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter.
"You don’t?" I replied.
"We only have six, nine or 12," was the reply. "So I can’t order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
TWO: I was checking out at the local Woolworth’s with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those dividers they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn’t get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the divider, looking at it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?"
I said to her "I’ve changed my mind; I don’t think I’ll buy that today."’
She said OK, and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.
THREE: A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
FOUR: I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
‘Do you need some help?’ I asked.
She replied, "I knew I! should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can’t get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?"
‘Hmmm, I don’t know. Do you have an alarm, too?’ I asked.
"No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don’t you drive over there and check about the batteries. It’s a long walk . . ."
FIVE: Several years ago, we had an intern who was none too swift.
One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I’m almost out of typing paper. What do I do?"
"Just use paper from the photocopier," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.
She was a brunette, by the way!
SIX: A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room because he had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine. The mother says, "I just gave him some ant killer."
Dispatcher: "Rush him in to emergency!"
Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you’re stupid!