6/4/2008 – Editorials

Mark Friestad of Brinsmade informed me that Minnewaukan is not alone in the world. He brought an encyclopedia with a map to prove that fact. There is a Minnewakan, Manitoba, Canada on the east shore of Lake Manitoba. The town is located about 70 miles northwest of Winnipeg and is almost directly west of Gimli.

—000—

From the e-mails comes this subject of what things were like 53 years ago in 1955. From personal experience, I can attest to the truthfulness of each of the following:

"I’ll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it’s going to be impossible to buy a week’s groceries for $20.00."

"Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won’t be long before $2,000 will only buy a used one."

"If cigarettes keep going up in price, I’m going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous."

"Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?"

"If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store."

"When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we’d be better off leaving the car in the garage."

"Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls."

"I’m afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying ‘damn’ in Gone with the Wind, it seems every new movie has either hell or damn in it."

"I read the other day where some scientist thinks it’s possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas."

"Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn’t surprise me if someday they’ll be making more than the president."

"I never thought I’d see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now."

"It’s too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet. It won’t be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work."

"Marriage doesn’t mean a thing any more, those Hollywood stars seem to be getting divorced at the drop of a hat."

"I’m afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business."

"Thank goodness I won’t live to see the day when the government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to Congress."

"The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on."

"There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend.

It costs nearly $15 a night to stay in a hotel."

"No one can afford to be sick anymore. At $35.00 a day in the hospital it’s too rich for my blood."

"If they think I’ll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it."

Know any friends who would get a kick out of these, pass this on! Be sure and send it to your kids and grandkids too!

—000—

Here are some old ones:

A young writer cornered W. Somerset Maugham at a cocktail party and said, "I have just written a novel, but I haven’t been able to come up with a suitable title. Could you help me?"

"Are there any drums in it?" asked Maugham.

"No sir, it is not that kind of a book," the young man replied.

"Are there any bugles in it?"

"No Sir."

"Call it ‘No Drums, No Bugles," said Maugham.

—000—

Have you seen the newest magazine for farmers? It’s called "Plowboy."

The magazine has as its centerfold a good-looking tractor with its gears stripped.

And there’s a new political party which has just been formed. It’s called the Cutlery Party. Its candidates must be born with silver spoons in their mouths, speak with forked tongues and knife their colleagues in the back.

—000—

Three elderly women were discussing their lives. One of them said, "I have this problem. Sometimes when I go to the refrigerator I can’t remember whether I’m taking something out or putting it in."

"That’s nothing," said another. "I find myself standing at the stairs wondering if I’m going up or have just come down."

The third woman said, "Well, I’m thankful I don’t have any such problems," and she knocked on wood. "Oh, oh," she said, "there’s someone at the door."

—000—

A gentle little lady was watching the antics of a pair of Pekinese dogs in the pet shop window. She wondered about the price of one and the salesman pointed to one and announced, "That bitch you can have for $10 or the one there for $15."

The little old lady winced.

"What’s the matter?" asked the salesman. "Aren’t you familiar with the term ‘bitch?’ "

"Yes," she replied, "but I never before heard it applied to dogs."