3/12/2008 – Editorials

Remember I told you about the HuHot Mongolian Grill in Omaha, Neb.?

Well, I experienced an even better place closer to home a couple weekends ago.

While visiting in Grand Forks, I was wondering where we should go for noon lunch. Daughter-in-law Rhonda Howard suggested the Panda Restaurant at 2451 Columbia Road South. She offhandedly mentioned they had a Mongolian barbecue there. Wife Hollys’s ears picked this up right away and I knew instantly that all other eating places had been summarily dismissed from consideration.

Hollys liked the HuHot, so she was anxious to recapture the past.

Even the begging of grandson Alec to go to Burger King didn’t sway her. We were going to the Panda and that was it!

It was similar to the HuHot in that there’s a line you go through to put noodles, vegetables, meat, seafood, sauces and other items of your choice on a plate. The plate of food is handed to a chef, who stir fries it on a round, solid stainless steel grill for a couple minutes before he hands it back to you, ready to eat. Oh, it was good!

The best part about this place is they have several buffet lines in addition to the Mongolian barbecue. They had such items as already cooked chicken, ham, shrimp, fish, pork, beef and all kinds of fruits and vegetables, rice, potatoes, you name it. One of the grandsons even had macaroni and cheese. Then there was another long buffet line with desserts. After I finished my Mongolian barbecue, I went through the regular buffet line with a fresh plate. Man, oh man, was it good!

Hollys had three plates of food and 2.5 plates of desserts on top of that! I don’t know where she puts it on her 100-lb. frame.

The six of us ate for $60 before the tip was added. Ten-year-old Alec was charged 50c for each year of age, so his portion of the bill was $5. It was pretty reasonable for an all-you-can-eat place. I’ll be going back there, you can be sure and I can heartily recommend that you try it.

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While we were at the restaurant, we looked out the window and there was a young woman smiling and dancing on the sidewalk. She performed her act for several minutes.

Grandson Alec piped up: "She must have switched her car insurance to Geico and saved a bundle of money."

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From the e-mails:

Men are happier than women. What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be president. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5,000. Tux rental $100. People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes — one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier!

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Here’s a one-question IQ test to help you decide how you should spend the rest of your day:

There’s a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one’s teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.

Now, if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?

Think about it first before looking at the answer in the next sentence.

He opens his mouth and says, "I would like to buy a pair of sunglasses."

If you got this wrong, turn off your computer and call it a day. I’ve got mine shutting down right now.