9/27/2006 – Editorials



By Richard Peterson

I received this e-mail from a couple sources. I checked out the instructions on the Urban Legends Web site (www.snopes.com), which confirmed that the instructions are true.

During a barbecue a friend stumbled and took a little fall — she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) and just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food — while she appeared a bit shaken up, she went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening. Her husband called later, telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital and that she had died.

She had suffered a stroke at the barbecue. Had the participants known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps she would be with us today. Some don’t die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead.

It only takes a minute to read this . . .

A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within three hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke . . . totally.

He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed and then getting the patient medically cared for within three hours, which is tough.

Remember the three steps, STR. Sometimes the symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.

Doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple

questions:

S – Ask the individual to SMILE.

T – Ask the person to TALK; to speak a simple sentence coherently, such as "It is sunny out today."

R – Ask the person to RAISE BOTH ARMS.

If he or she has trouble with any one of these tasks, call 9-1-1 immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

—000—

Ole and Lena were out walking and Lena clutched her heart and fell to the sidewalk. Ole got out his cell phone and called 9-1-1. The operator said "Where are you?"

Ole said, "We were walking and Lena is on the sidewalk on Eucalyptus Street."

The operator said, "How do you spell that?" and the phone seemed to go dead. The operator kept shouting for Ole. She could hear him panting.

Then he came back on and said, "I dragged her over to Oak Street.

That’s O-A-K."

—000—

Two Norwegian hunters from Minnesota got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose. They bagged six. As they started loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot said the plane could take only four moose. The two lads objected strongly, "Last year we shot six and the pilot let us put them all on board and he had the same plane as yours." Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded.

However, even on full power, the little plane couldn’t handle the load and went down a few moments after take-off. Climbing out of the wreck one Norski asked the other, "Any idea where we are?"

"Yaaah, I tink we’s pretty close to where we crashed last year."

—000—

Lena called the airline’s information desk and inquired, "How long does it take to fly from Minneapolis to Fargo?"

"Just a minute," said the busy clerk.

"Vell," said Lena, "if it has to go dat fast, I tink I’ll yust take da bus."

—000—

The judge had just awarded a divorce to Lena, who had charged non-support. He said to Ole, "I have decided to give your wife $400 a month for support."

"Vell, dat’s fine, Judge," said Ole. "And vunce in a while I’ll try to chip in a few bucks myself."

—000—

Lars the bartender asked Ole, "Do ya know da difference between a Norvegian and a canoe?"

"No, I don’t," said Ole.

"A canoe will sometimes tip," explained Lars.

—000—

Ole is so cheap that after his airplane landed safely he grumbled, "Vell, dere gose five dollars down da drain for dat flight insurance!"

—000—

Lars: "Ole, stand in front of my car and tell me if da turn signals are working."

Ole: "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes, No . . ."

—000—

Ole and Lena got married. On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena’s knee. Giggling, Lena said, "Ole, you can go a little farther now if ya vant to."

So Ole drove to Duluth.

—000—

Ole and Lars were on their very first train ride. They brought along bananas for lunch. Just as they began to peel them, the train entered a long, dark tunnel. "Have you eaten your banana yet?" Ole asked excitedly.

"No," replied Lars.

"Vell, don’t touch it den," Ole exclaimed. "I yust took vun bite and vent blind!"


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