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6/29/2005 – Editorials

By Richard Peterson

These interesting statements came from an e-mail. I don’t vouch for the accuracy of all the statements, but they’re interesting:
1. Money isn’t made of paper, it’s made of cotton.
2. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper.
3. The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle.
4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.
5. Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller.
6. Forty percent of McDonald’s profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.
7. Three hundred fifteen entries in Webster’s 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.
8. The ‘spot’ on 7-UP comes from its inventor, who had red eyes. He was an albino.
9. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents, daily.
10. Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.
11. Chocolate affects a dog’s heart and nervous system; a few ounces will kill a small dog.
12. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark’s stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.
13. Most lipstick contains fish scales (eeww!).
14. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn’t wear pants.
15. Ketchup was sold in the 1830’s as medicine.
16. Upper and lower case letters are named ‘upper’ and ‘lower’ because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the ‘upper case’ letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the smaller, ‘lower case’ letters.
17. Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time . . . hence, multi-tasking was invented.
18. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.
19. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.
20. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan; there was never a recorded Wendy before!
21. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with: orange, purple and silver!
22. Leonardo da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa’s lips.
23. A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it instantly go mad and sting itself to death.
24. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original "Halloween" was a Captain Kirk mask painted white.
25. If you have three quarters, four dimes and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
26. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can’t sink in quicksand (and you thought this list was completely useless).
27. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn’t beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb (a sign of a true civilized society).
28. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the best known player on the market was the Victrola, so the company named itself Motorola.
29. Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with. It’s the same with apples!
30. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying!
31. The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.
32. The Guinness Book of World Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from public libraries.
33. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a space suit damages it (families taking long car trips should adopt this same policy).
Lena Larson called her boyfriend, Solomon Cohen, and said, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle and I can’t figure out how to get it started."
Solomon asked, "What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?"
Lena replied, "According to the picture on the box, it’s a tiger."
Solomon decided to go over and help with the puzzle. She showed him where she had the puzzle spread all over the table.
Solomon studied the pieces for a moment, looked at the box, then turned to her and said, "First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He then took her hand and said, "Second, I’d advise you to relax. Let’s have a cup of coffee, then . . ." he sighed, "let’s put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
Can’t eat beef because of Mad Cow Disease.
Can’t each chicken because of Bird Flu.
Can’t eat eggs because of Salmonella.
Can’t eat pork because of fears that Bird Flu has poisoned their meat.
Can’t eat fish because heavy metals in the water has poisoned their flesh.
Can’t eat fruits and vegetables because of insecticides and herbicides.
That leaves chocolate.

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